Updated: Mar 9
Build Your Resilience
It is not a big secret that sometimes you will bump into people who are far from supportive. Thereby you must build resilience. You just have to! How? First, you need to realize the fact that not everybody in the world writes and guess what? – not everybody in the world reads, unless they absolutely have to, something work-related for example. So, don’t get upset if your friend or even relative says all of a sudden, Leave this crap alone! It does not bring any money! Yes, working on your project for 2-3 and more years, you don’t receive any monetary compensation. But, guess what, you don’t leave your main job either. You bring income to the house, and sometimes you even take a side job to recoup the costs of your book. So, what are their problems? To me, if someone disappears in malls all weekend shopping, or in bars – drinking beer and playing billiard, then this is their choice. I have nothing to say against it. But perhaps those people treat you as a nut case, only because you write a book. Keep your head up then! And don’t give up on your dream! What would I tell them? – Don’t embarrass yourself by talking to a nutty.
Let’s talk about why your family may refuse to support you as a writer. Most of the time that is happening because people believe in secure earnings – it’s pretty obvious. You go to work somewhere else for eight hours – you get your paycheck. Mow the grass, paint the wall and you got cash. This sort of income is certain for everybody. But unfortunately, it doesn’t work the same way for the writing folk, whose hard work gets paid quarterly with royalties, an amount which you can’t predict. But guess what, if you take your writing in a serious, mature way, then you invest lots of resources: your time which could be even more than the regular 8 hours a day; your emotional impact, and then you do some research. In addition, serious writing is not a worry-free process. Yes, it is enjoyable, but also it is stressful as well. Why? For one thing, because you’re taking full responsibility for every word and every line you put in your book. Sounds intimidating? Agreed. Being a full-time writer is tremendous work. If you are experiencing a hard time with your family members, co-workers, friends – whoever at that point – and it seems to you as if nobody supports your writing endeavor and more than that – doing the opposite, then my advice for you would be:
1. Don’t let anybody humiliate you! Walk away from those people, or change the subject of conversation, and avoid sharing in the future regarding your project. You don’t need an extra headache.
2. Don’t let them destroy your dream! Show your respect towards their dreams and ideas, hear them out, even if their ideas sound unrealistic – that is even better for you.
3. Invent your own interpretation for their offensive words! As an example, I am bringing up an excerpt out of my reply to my husband: CRAP – Creative Resilience to an Annoying Partner.
Have fun with your writing!